It’s Penge o’clock

Is Penge the new hub of Western Civilisation? Giles Lego took the trusty 176 south to see what all the hullabaloo is about.

London: a veritable salmagundi of perpetually transmogrify villages, an ever changing, evolving, transforming, transgressing arena of magic. As we have seen in recent years Islington has become the new Kensington; Shoreditch: the new Soho and now (even though it makes absolutely no sense in London) there is even a Noho! New Cross is of course the new Camden to Brockley’s Hampstead. And Catford may well prove to be the new Belgravia. But an even more exciting and upandcoming area is Penge: the little known leafy enclave of South London that’s fast becoming the desired destination for the Capital’s hip young elite. The SE20 somethings, as they are being referred to, are moneyed up, upwardly mobile, opulent, ambitious, affluent, affable and amiable, they are well-off and they have money! You can see them in Henry Holland t-shirts taking leisurely lunches at Chef’s Delight, and dining out in vintage dresses at the ubertrendy China Lilly or unwinding in the ubertrendy Pawleyne Arms. In fact the Penge Pound, as it is being referred to, is rapidly changing the face of this hitherto neglected district. Gone are the days of the sour faced taverns and dour chicken shops; now it’s all upmarket boutiques and Gastro-itis. The old Penge Working Men’s Club is now a small independent art gallery, the old youth centre is now a small independent art gallery and the old industrial estate has been reclaimed as a small independent art gallery that doubles up as a Gay Scat fetish club.

I met up with some of the new hip locals to see what exactly it is that makes Penge so amazing. Annanana Karickiszi is heiress to a Russian oil fortune and studies Media and Godknowswhat at Lewisham College, she is a fan of Sartre and hopes to one day become a poet or fashion editor. She is wealthy! “I love the area.” She says while gazing out the window of her £700 a month bedsit. “There is always somewhere new to go, something new to do. It is cool but not pretentious. There is a community. People are friendly. I feel safe” Calvin works in New Media, he emigrated from America two years ago. He is financially sound! “There is a lot of history here and it’s quirky, very British.” He owns a small studio above an Icelands. “It’s a friendly area. People say hello. I feel safe.” James works in New Media and rents a flat in a converted pub. He is solvent! “It’s fun and exciting. There’s lot’s of night life and culture. There are supermarkets but also small independent stores. I love it. People talk to each other. I feel safe” I also caught up with Gregg, a Railway Station Toilet Professional who has lived in Penge all his life. “Things are definitely changing.” He tells me. “It’s all gastro this and Starbucks that. Just give me a good old cuppa tea” he quips. The old Petrol Station opposite Gregg’s house is now the smoking area for a late night gay club called Fatigué, I ask him what he makes of the many provocatively dressed gentlemen that now reside in the area. “Well, at least they are driving out the nignogs” he quips.