Get the Shoreditch look!

Our fashion correspondent Lionel Hope arses about in search of the latest trends

Shoreditch, Hoxton, Dalston! Calling all tribes! A new craze is sweeping through East London’s hipster elite and it’s called Prego-chic. I met up with Riotous Dave in the ubertrendy Hoxton Grill, Kitchen, Lounge, Bar and Hall to find out more. Dalston, Hoxton, Broadway Market! Dave or Rio as he is known to his consort, spends his entire waking life monitoring and influencing East London fashion trends. He is most famous for introducing the “lenseless” spectacles look. Today he is sporting a pair of Harem Pants; some high heel shoes; a motorcycle helmet with the visor down and a pair of inflatable arm bands with a Mickey Mouse pattern. However what is most important to me is that tucked under his Hawaiian shirt is a large sofa cushion. “The prego look is soooooooooooo in.” He exclaims, after opening his visor to sip some crantini. “People say it was MIA [Last year London born singer MIA performed her global hit Paper Planes at the American Grammy Awards while heavily pregnant] but really it’s about fucking with gender and politics, it’s mostly men that get it not chicks.” He announces before screaming “Fuck Thomas Beatie!”

Shoreditch, Spitalfields, Bethnal Green! Later that day I bumped into Cole (24, video artist) at the ubertrendy Dalston Superstore. He is wearing blue Kwikfit overalls with the famous logo modified to read ‘kwikfuck’, he also more importantly has a cushion tucked down his front. “It just like happened one day. I’d like seen other people doing it and when I was like getting ready to go out, I like stuck a pillow under my vest, it just like felt right. It happened organically.” But the rabbit hole goes much deeper than this as Rio explained to me. “Some people have gotten really into it and bought pregnant suits and that, you know empathy belly things off the internet, it looks fierce!” Brick Lane, London Fields, Haggerston? I met up with Jamie Insatiable (performance artist, poet, playwright, journalist and workshop facilitator) who has recently undergone extensive plastic surgery to give himself a baby sized bulge. “The scars haven’t really healed yet” he warns me as he lifts his shirt… And he isn’t kidding; the severely red marked protruding gut looks something like a cartoon potbelly stove. “That’s quite dedicated.” I remark. “Yeah,” he says, “well it won’t be forever. I used to have breasts.” Hackney Wick, Columbia Road, Etcetera. I spoke to Dr Newton Levi (writer, thinker, public speaker, philosopher, social commentator, intellectual and lecturer at Goldsmiths College) about the phenomenon. “Strict Neo-Postfreudian’s will tell you it is what’s known as womb envy.” He explained. “As society has steadily undermined patriarchy and phallogocentrism by among other things advancements in science and the changes late capitalism has brought to the jobs market, male insecurities have started to manifest themselves in temporary or permanent body modification…It’s a phenomenon that is likely to become more widespread and extreme in the future…Things are probably going to get increasingly scary and weird!”

I decide to try and get hold of one of these prego suits for myself but all I find on ebay is hundreds of Pregnant Nun costumes …so I get one of those instead. A few days later it arrives and I make my way down to trendy east end nightclub Malignancy. It feels strange at first and the taxi driver repeatedly rolls his eyes at me in the mirror. But once I’m safely in East London I find many other bright young thing shaking their prosthetic tummies to the beat. And many strangers approach me eager to learn of this exciting and fabulous new fashion trend. It feels fun and freeing and exciting and most of all it feels empowering!